How the Skank killed Halloween Part 1

I love Halloween. I loved it when I was a kid. I loved that excitement for the one day per year that I can be anything that my imagination could conjure. I used to throw Halloween parties, decorating my house in scary, blacked out walls, strobe lights and fog machines. My sister and I threw some pretty rad Halloween parties in our adult years. People came from Northern California, all over southern California and from Arizona to come to these fiestas. Everyone put thought and imagination into their costumes. They were witty and original.

But the last 3 years I have realized that my beloved evening of Halloween has literally been hijacked by single cell organisms dressed like street walkers. I can not go out on Halloween anymore without the entire bar or party filled with girls who's only thought all landed them in the same exact place...to look like a skank. It doesn't matter if the girl thought it would be funny to dress up as a clown...as long as the clown wore stripper shoes, fishnet tights, a thong covered slightly by a colorful napkin and a push up bra. And just for kicks the rocket scientist probably threw on a colorful Afro just so people would know she's in costume. See skanky clown below:

The only real choice they really have to make when picking out their outfit is whether they are going to a naughty skank or a nice skank... is it me or does it really make a bit of difference? These chicks want you to know..."hey world, this is my night to be a stripper, but I'm not really...it's just a costume"

It truly does not matter what "costume" they were trying to achieve because with these girls you can have a room filled with what was supposed to be a costume like rainbow bright, cowgirl, police man, super woman, fairy or what ever else you can think of because the the end result is all the same...SKANK! You dressed up like a skanky ho....well congrats to you...you thinker, you over achiever. OHHHH LOOK everyone...It's Super slut. Nice job!

So to all of you who have taken a fun night of make believe, scariness and endless opportunity of dress up, I just want to say KUDOS for taking this night and turning it into your opportunity to show the world exactly what you look like with no clothes on.

Need vs. Want

I, like most women and gay men, sit and dream about decorating and shopping. I have learned through many years of being broke that dreaming is a lot safer then spending. So instead of getting a credit card and buying new chairs from Z Gallerie, I browse the super high web or flip through their catalog. I am safe as long as I do not actually go and physically visit the store. Case in point, I recently went to Anthropologie with my dear friend who is an Anthro manager in Arizona. Because I do not have any sense of style and I wear the same clothes from 10 years ago, I hoped that my friend would take some time, pick out some must haves from her store and I would end up walking out of there a happier, hipper woman. Well, to my utter surprise, my friend filled my dressing room with several pairs of pants, shirts, sweaters and other fantastic pieces for me to try. And so I stood there, in the large dressing room of Anthropologie high from all the new possibilities, trying on one outfit at a time. I loved everything, with very few exceptions, everything looked awesome and I felt like a new woman. The bonus was that at least 1/2 of the items she picked out were on sale. So I grabbed all the new swag, walked up to the cash register and with a smile on my face, I told her "I will take all of this"! It was so overwhelmingly exciting. Boy oh boy, the lady at the cash register looked equally happy. So she began ringing me up and about 1/3 of the way through with ringing up my purchases the lady said, "so, far we are at $530.00". HOLY SHIT! That was only for 4 items and there were easily 5 more items to go. So I stood there sweating...almost in tears due to embarrassment and requested that the lady start taking most of the items off of my pile. I felt so bad that I some how thought it wouldn't be that expensive. So I apologized emphatically and ended up walking out of there with 3 items.
All shopping sounds fun until you see the damage done to your bank account. The one piece of advice that my mother shared with me is that you should never buy anything that you do not have the money for already in the bank. She taught me that going into debt just to appease one's frantic sense of purchasing is never worth it. This advice has saved me and I hope it will save you. You do not need to have everything you want. Learn to identify a want versus a need and do not put want purchases on a credit card. You end up paying 3 times what it originally cost. I ended up buying pretty basic items at Anthropologie that day. Items that I can wear with many different outfits and passed on the clothes that really were not necessary.
I love the fact that I am passing on my parents sage advice in my 30's :) Who knew?